just a blog

It's one of those times I'm experiencing torrents and barrages of thoughts going through my head and I have so much I want to say and so much I wanna do and when I get down to it nothing gets done and I can't write anything I can't think I wanna talk to someone I need a break but when I lie down I want to get up and do something and everything is wrong and tomorrow school starts again and I haven't done much today and why is she not here and I want to sleep but I've got so much stuff undone but strangely it's not stress I'm feeling I don't get stressed easily I want to do work but no work gets done I want to go out but it's not the time to go out I want to play ball but I'm hungry I'm hungry but I don't feel like eating I just read QiBi's blog and I so understand how she feels like nothing matters anymore and awhile back I was just saying I have so much to say but can't write anything and now I'm experiencing mental diarrhoea wow I can spell diarrhoea this must be one post with the fastest word per minute I've ever written because everything is just flowing out and I'm not controlling my fingers they're moving all over the keyboard by themselves and I know you're having a hard time reading this haha but why in the world are you still reading there is no meaning in this mumbo jumbo of words at all nothing but my fustrations no commas no full stops no rest haha I wonder if anyone knows how I feel but I hope no one does because it doesn't feel good I think I'm not in a good mood right now but it's not a bad mood I don't know how to describe this but I think I can only describe this as sibeh gao wei I wanna run I wanna perspire I wanna blow air con I wanna drive I wanna scream at the top of my lungs but no sound comes out I feel claustrophobic I'm waxing lyrical about nothing in particular I miss her but I don't miss her and I miss her instead but no I can't I don't argh wtf am I saying wtf am I thinking wtf am I doing wtf wtf wtf?!?!?!?