just a blog

There's Gotta be more to Life by Stacie Orrico. Kinda old yes, but I love this song~~

I've got it all, but I feel so deprived
I go up, I come down and I'm emptier inside
Tell me what is this thing that I feel like I'm missing
And why can't I let it go

There's gotta be more to life...
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm...
Tripping out thinking there must be more to life
Well it's life, but I'm sure... there's gotta be more
Than wanting more

I've got the time and I'm wasting it slowly
Here in this moment I'm half way out the door
Onto the next thing, I'm searching for something that's missing

There's gotta be more to life...
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm...
Tripping out thinking there must be more to life
Well it's life, but I'm sure... there's gotta be more
I'm wanting more.....

I'm always waiting on something other than this
Why am I feelin' like there's something I missed.....

There's gotta be more to life...
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm...
Tripping out thinking there must be more to life
Well it's life, but I'm sure... there's gotta be more to life...

Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm...
Tripping out thinking there must be more to life
Well it's life, but I'm sure... there's gotta be more to life....life..
ohh...more to life..life..theres gotta be more to life...
ohh...more to life....theres gotta be more to life...ohhh

The farmer thinks that the magic crane has totally forgotten him. Happy as the magic crane might be in its new magical realm, it still thinks about the farmer all the time.

But the magic crane has to leave as the magical realm is where it belongs. It hopes that the farmer could be happy. It knows that the farmer is strong and could cope with anything that comes along.

Despite what it seems like, it thinks of the farmer whenever it goes to a place where they have been to together. When it sees his favorite food. When it recalls the wonderful memories they've had together.

Does the farmer think that the magic crane does not care about him anymore? The magic crane desires to be in the place he belongs, but it is not devoid of feelings.

The magic crane misses the farmer.

P.S: Don't cry.

Oh my goodness, this is damn cool shit.

I JUST REALIZED THAT JIE YING IS MY COUSIN!!!

Goodness gracious.

Yesterday at Sentosa we were like thinking, hmm such a coincidence, how come she got same surname as my mum, very rare one ma... Then the rest were like jokingly saying that we might actually be relatives, and played together when we were kids. Maybe when I was small she always bully me one.

So today she went to check with her father while I actually didn't believe that it could be such a coincidence. So guess my shock when it's true!!

So we've been through the camp and like, around 10 outings without realizing that she's my biao mei~~

And she happens to be one of my closer friends in the group loh. And she's been my partner for most of the games in orientation camp~~

This is damn cool shit man; the world is such a small place!

Came across a certain someone's blog in which he says bball is gay~~

Hmm I'm guessing he isn't really serious about it but I don't really know, maybe he is. I am no Absolute Moralist and I understand everyone has his likes and dislikes but I really don't understand what's gay about bball.

I mean, I'm not saying it's man or anything, but does it deserve such a negative criticism?

He mentions that bball is for guys who wanna like act shuai and show off to his girlfriend or to impress girls or something.

I mean, like, "DUH?!" The "act shuai" element; isn't it like a part of every sport or in fact everything that you like?? You play a sport because you enjoy the feeling of playing it. You enjoy basketball because the feeling of hearing the "CHOP!" is damn shiok. Because driving past your opponent feels damn empowering. Because a nice pass looks damn chio.

Who likes to play a sport in which he consciously knows that his actions look stupid and ugly?!

And about the showing off to girlfriend part. For a fact, I don't think my previous gf has ever seen me play bball before man.. I don't know why lah, don't know if it's really no chance or she doesn't like to watch, but she never watch before loh. So I want to show off also cannot. Not there's anything much to show anyway lah.

About the impressing girls part. Yeah lah, got girls watching of course you'll be more energetic. I mean, got people watch of course more energetic lah, even if they're guys. Budden even if got girls also all like ah lians loh.

So like if they ever get to see me perform, it's when we're slaughtering their ah beng boyfriends loh. So they might not even be impressed. Cursing and swearing maybe.

Yeah I know, I also hate those ah bengs who play bball either barefooted or in their super bright coloured slippers and no fear tight t-shirts. I also hate it when people wear their FULL jersey and walk around in shopping malls.

Budden there are ballers I damn admire also loh. Got one quite ah beng one starting I also dun like him one. But gradually I find that he's actually just, beng loh.. But he's really nice and he's frickin good loh, kaoZ. Yeah he's taller than me lah, budden even if we're the same height I think he will trash me loh.

Then not long ago got another little kid we met at the CC also. He's damn frickin good also loh, and he's like, what, 17, I think? I think he's really damn talented loh, I was really damn amazed by his skills. About 173 cm ba, not very tall, but his control and speed is totally madness loh.

One reason I really HATE it when people who lose to my team complain about my HEIGHT. It's like, please loh, if you really look at it properly, the difference between 170 and 180 is like, one head only loh. And 180 is NOT VERY TALL LOH. Wait till you see those 2m freaks.

And when I encounter those teams with distinct height disadvantage one, I will automatically start playing guard and not eat them loh. Play guard i.e. controlling the ball alot and not using height advantage. But they can still shamelessly shake their heads when I score and sigh "so tall..."

Okay so in conclusion, most ballers are okay loh. All sports have their black sheep one wad.

Okay, Shambaa is actually the name of the orientation group I was in. The camp was damn fun because it was filled with frickin damn onZ people. I am still pretty amazed by the number of outings that have been organized since the end of the camp.

The camp started on the 28th June, ended on 2nd July. Since then...

4th July: KTV, Initial D outing.
7th July: Sports day @ NUS
8th July: Sentosa; volleyball and Sakae Sushi fiesta.
12th July: Chilling out at Scum king's place.
13th July: KTV at KBox, Mambo @ Zouk.
16th July: Cycling @ ECP, then potluck at Gab's place.
17th July: Piracy infesto @ JB, seafood madness @ Orang Asli.
18th July: Sentosa; volleyball and captain's ball, then Sakae Sushi at Funan IT Mall.
20July: Ladies Night, free entry @ China Black, then chilled out at Lau Pa Sat.
24th July: Probably Sentosa again.

As you can see, this is simply madness. From the above statistics, we have had like 10 outings in 22 days, which is like one outing every other day and in percentage it's like 45% of the days since the camp ended we've had outings.

I totally disagree with this saying.

If you can't eat your cake, then what the hell do you want it for?!

Okay this is outdated already cos the gay bash happened yesterday but I'm gonna write it anyway cos gay bashes don't happen everyday.

Yeah, so we started the day off with a change of plans (not a very good start isn't it); we're going to get the food stuff instead of bball first, as opposed to the other way round according to the original plan.

Yeah and they were complaining that I was a lousy host when I already made it very clear that I am only providing the place and am NOT THE HOST. It was a lame excuse I think haha, I'm just too lazy I guess, and Rhasta scolded me for going to China Black the night before.

So we proceeded back to my place for preparations of the food; basically cow and idol were the chefs and I was like the saikang warrior providing much-needed support like opening the plastic bags. The rest, leo, tyy, rhasta and juggernaut were just chilling out in the room and playing DOTA. Okay, maybe I should say WATCHING RHASTA PLAY DOTA.

Yeah so after bball at a lousy court (cos the good court was being occupied) and all of us playing pretty much like shit and blaming the court and me getting scolded by them again for being a farked up host and bathing, we finally proceed to the pits~

Hmm,
Why are the comments left annonymous? I thought blogspot automatically states the name of the person leaving the comment?

Hmm, might be my template. So people, if you leave comments, please tell me who you are~

So that it'll be easier for me to go chop you if you leave wicked comments.

No lah, kidding lah hiak hiak.

Right now, bball is like the only sport I really play alot. Thinking back, I have really come a long way in my bball life~~

The first time I remembered playing bball was in primary school. Dunno primary one or two, the stupid kind of age where guys and girls hate each other. At that age, you always see the guys shorter than the girls. I am one of them.

Bball was such a frickin irritating sport to me then. I can't run, I can't catch, can't dribble, can't shoot. And everybody can't too, so it's just one stupid game where everyone screams and throws the ball around and pray that it goes as intended.

Since then I've hated bball.

In sec3, my classmates, benji, yunzi, idol, tyy and gang ALWAYS play during reccess. And I always just sat there and watched. Damn sianz. They keep asking me to play but I thought it was such a not-fun game.

One day I decided to try. And the rest, as they say, is history.

I was so proud of myself cos I could touch the rim. I told myself that I must learn to dunk. I started loving the sport.

One fine day in sec 3, I managed to hang on the rim for the first time. I was so elated. Dying to show off to my friends, I did it again in the most bo-chup way you could imagine. I landed on my elbow and dislocated it. My ankle also buang. So I called my mum and I went to a chinese sinseh for the first time in my life.

I took damn long to recover, but I knew that bball was my sport.

Fast forward to JC. I was contemplating if I should join bball anot. My main concern was primarily that I suck. And I suck big-time. How to play in school team? But I don't want to be in stupid art club again. I've been in it for like, 4 frickin years, and it's damn frickin sian.

I decided to give it a try and go for the trials. Might not even get in anyway, so why worry so much. The selection process was kind of weird, I also don't know how they choose one. I think about 50 plus people signed up. I was like 'whoa'.

So we were made to do funny stuff like all the basic moves and play 3on3s and 1on1s so that the seniors and coach could see and select.

Well I don't remember much about those except that my 1on1 opponent went on to become my bunk mate in unit during my NS life. It's just so sad that I got selected in the end and he didn't.

Because my life in the team sucks. I can't click with the rest of the team at all. And it feels really competitive. I don't enjoy bball as much as I should.

And worse still, I was a frickin center. For the uninitiated, center is the position under the net for all those sumo wrestlers and involves alot of hustle and push and shove. BUT I'M A PEACEFUL MAN.

Okay maybe my control's not good enough to be a guard, but I guess I'd be much happier being a forward or something. In my second year, I nearly quit the team to join badminton.

Well the stupid badminton teacher-in-charge didn't allow me to join so I had to stay on in the team. I still loved bball, but I just don't like being in the team. Ah well, decided to just go with the flow and train up and do my part for the team.

Alas, I never even got to play a part.

About 2 months before the competition, I injured my frickin ankle again. So game over. I do carry on going for trainings. But then because of the stupid ankle, I can't chiong too much. And I lagged behind quite abit. The formations and all those shit stuff, I can't coordinate with them at all.

So I got dropped out of the team. After one plus year of fricking tough and time-consuming training, I got fricking kicked out of the team. I questioned myself, what the fuck for?

I wonder what the teacher-in-charge was thinking. There were very clearly 2 ways he could have managed this better.

1) Set up an amateur team for the non-compeitive people.
2) Select EXACTLY 12 team-members so that he won't end up kicking off anyone.

But we had like 17. So 5 had to be sacrificed. Somemore it's like, a few days before the competition. It was clearly a selfish solution. He wanted to be sure that he had at least 12 to enter the competition. And he can't let the frickin remaning 5 know in advance, cos else they'll pon training.

And my attendance was like 100%. And I fricking got kicked out. That period of time when we had exams and training three times per week was fucking xiong. I always go to school damn tired and go home even more tired.

Okay so I ended the JC phase of bball with a bad taste lingering in my mouth.

Started playing with outside people. Don't know if it's cos I was playing with a venegance or I was originally pretty good or what, but I realize that I'm actually not as bad as I thought.

Joined some sucky outside team; never really took part in competitions, but had my fair share of fun with them, and I had good practice.

After some time, I guess my passion just died down as I had to serve frickin NS and couldn't get to play there much anymore.

So here I am, starting a new phase of my bball life. In a light-hearted way. Most probably going to join the amateur NUS bball club.

Hopefully this time round, I'm gonna meet better people and have more fun. Else I know I'd just frickin quit.

it's like, sometimes when you're gonna lose something, you get this really farked up feeling cos you don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing.

yea, 塞翁失馬，焉知非福？

but i guess you really can't tell if it's a good thing or a bad thing. only time can tell.

so what's the best thing that could be done?

decide on all the options that you have, scrutinise and think long and hard about each one, and then make your choice based on whatever information you have, objectively. leave the rest to fate.

simple?

yeah, sure.

if only everything is as easy to do as to say.

Today was such an adventurous day. After stoning and reading in the library for about 6 hours, partly because of the rain, I went to have my hair cut and er.. highlighted.

So there I was at Marsiling waiting for my bus to come. It came pretty soon, and I was happy because I still had to go buy SOTONG BALLS for tomorrow's Shambaa potluck thingy.

So I happily got onto the bus, plugged on my earphones, and started playing F.I.R's CD; I love Qian Nian Zhi Lian so I set it to be the only song I wanna hear.

So on and on the bus went, until I noticed something weird. How come opposite side got 190?

I was like, "hmm..."

Then I saw the road sign "PIE Changi Airport"

I was like, "eh?"

Then I saw "Toa Payoh" and was like "huh?"

And finally I saw "KALLANG".

And I was like "WHAT THE FARK!?!?!"

I live in the WEST can.

I was about to alight immediately until I realized that I was on an expressway. Great.

Suddenly I heard the chorus of the song I'm listening ,"chuan yue qiaaaan nian de shaaaaaaaaang tong~~~ zhi wei qiu yi ge jieeeeee guooooo". How apt.

At the next bus-stop, I looked at the sign and saw that there were only 2 TIBS buses, 985 and 966.

966.

I was supposed to take 960. I wanted to take out pen and paper immediately to complain to TIBS for making the bus numbers so similar.

So after a few more stops, I finally saw a bus-stop where there's an overhead bridge I can cross, so I alighted and got onto the the bus heading towards Marsiling.

I checked out my watch: About 30 minutes since I left Marsiling I think. Another 20 plus minutes later, I finally saw the "BKE WOODLANDS". I didn't know whether I should laugh or cry.

Eight plus already. Haven't had dinner. I looked down, covered my face and shook my head. Then I caught a glimpse of my stomach pointing its middle finger at me.

Okay so I reach Marsiling. Had to go to the Gents. So I did. Upon entering, there was this ah neh facing the other way. He turned briefly to look at me. Then suddenly TURNED HARD.

THEN HE FRECKIN SMILED AT ME.

I really felt like crying.

For quite some time now, I've been exploring the options of earning money through the internet with my brother and 2 other friends, Kevin and David.

We seem to have arrived at a breakthrough stage~ We just made about 200 USD last night :) This amount will be split between the three of us though. Heh, but I think we're homing in onto some good stuff :)

Still kind of in the beta stages, but basically it's like betting on how the market trend goes. Kevin's from Germany. He studies probability and is quite well-versed in the field of foreign exchange markets as well.

David's the technical guy; he's in charge of coming up with a software that actually gives out signals to tell us when to place the bet on which currency goes up or down. Haha, sounds abit complicated, but it's pretty easy to understand once you get into it.

As for me, I'm primarily the marketer of the program~ Will promote this stuff in forums, e-zines, PPC means and traffic-generating-sites. As I said, still in the beta stages~ But we all are USING the system right now, and it's really working like a charm.

Ah well, I really hope this goes well. If it does, I'd have a steady stream of income coming in when school starts!

*Crosses fingers*

Around 1990, when Jim Carrey was a struggling young Canadian comic trying to make his way in Los Angeles, he drove his old Toyota up to Mulholland Drive. While sitting there looking at the city below and dreaming of his future, he wrote himself a check for $10 million, dated it Thanksgiving 1995, added the notation "for acting servcies rendered," and carried it in his wallet fmro that day forth.

The rest, as they say, is history. Carrey's optimism and tenacity finally paid off, and by 1995, after the huge box office success of Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, The Mask, and Dumb & Dumber, his asking price had risen to $20 million per picture.

When Carrey's father died in 1994, he placed the $10 million chekc into his father's coffin as a tribute to a man who had both started and nurtured his dreams of being a star.

Changed the template for my blog again, cos benji and gang say that they can't see. Now that I've changed to this SUPER simple and neat one, should be no problem already, right?

Anywayz, I saw a story that I really liked today. It's called "GIVE ME A BREAK!" Here goes.

A story is told of a man who goes to church and prays, :God, I need a break. I need to win the state lottery. I'm counting on you, God." Having not won the lottery, the man returns to church a week later and once again prays, "God, about that state lottery... I've been kind to my wife. I've given up drinking. I've been reall good. GIve me a break. Let me win the lottery."

A week later, still no richer, he returns to pray once again. "God, I don't seem to be getting through to you on this state lottery thing. I've been using positive self-talk, saying affirmations, and visualizing the money. Give me a break, God. Let me win the lottery."

Suddenly the heavens open up, white light and heavenly music flood into the church, and a deep voice says, "My son, give me a break! Buy a lottery ticket!"

----END

Okay, maybe you feel abit "DUH!?" but I guess the moral of the story is that sometimes we just keep wanting and wanting and don't realize that actually the key to actually getting that thing we want actually lies inside ourself?

Yeah and I actually don't need you to tell me that my previous sentence was actually 2 and a half lines long and consists of 3 "actuallies" and so does this sentence but I suddenly feel like using alot of "actuallies" so what can you do to me muahaha.

Yeah I just came back from orientation camp a few days ago, and I actually had a SECRET entry I don't want to make public because there is SECRET stuff in there muahaha! Naughty stuff, but no I'm not gonna talk about it muahahha.

Been spending so much moneeeeeeeeeeey!

Bought a pair of torn jeans yesterday. A shoe bag, a pouch, and swimming trunks today. Added up to like, hundred plus bucks! Luckily mama pays for it all.

Okay I've got nothing much to say because it's like 1:10 a.m. right now, and I'm supposed to go to NUS early tomorrow morning for games with SHAMBAA~~ (Orientation camp group)

So what am I doing now. Talking to Elyn. She just got a new handphone the day before, and can you believe it, she named it! Good, got my style.

黑泽毅~ Takeshi Kurozawa or something.

I'm gonna be da GODFATHER.

Of a handphone.